Thirdeye's Blog

Giovanna and I take our duties seriously. Walking Romulus is a job we judge our commitment to our beliefs by. To Romulus, life centers around the morning walk. He has to strut his stuff, preen and look regal. He has a wide stance when he walks because of his above average testicles. My daughter is preoccupied with fixing him but we object since no benefits are proven to come out of that according to the vet. It’s like her boyfriend obsessed with the benefits of circumcision with no proven benefits. We go all crazy about female genital mutilation but how about young boys going through circumcision and becoming total conservatives lacking sensitivity in critical areas. Romulus is gentle by nature but gets rattled when dogs bark or snap at him. The chihuahuas confuse him with their supercilious snapping completely deserving of being crushed between the jaws. Romulus knows that he aught to let him have it but then he has better things to do,well let the little shit bark, no harm done.

Walking our dogs is done on the promenade deck. Beautiful ladies and their well groomed dogs. Only a few guys. I get hellos and smiles when we pass most of the time and I know for sure the beauties who don’t acknowledge my hellos are definitely with LGBTQ inclinations. Giovanna says that my hello is a lesbian tester! There is no ordinance that we pick up after our dogs in our enclave but it’s done implicitly. The doggy pick up bags sticking out of the pockets is a badge of honor. Me and Giovanna are a different ilk. Picking up the warm squishy dog stuff is not for us but we could be ostracized, our house spray painted “dog poopers”. A great idea came to me.

“How about we carry pine cones in a dog poop bag and carry it daily ?” Giovanna has an even better idea, “how about carrying Rocca chocolates which are heavy in the bag and reach in for one and pop it into the mouth”. That will freak out passers by.

I remember the day we had an emergency! I was juggling the Rocca chocolates in the poop bag ,the water bowl for Romulus and the empty coffee mug and realized that I dropped the poop bag somewhere when I reached home. Panic! What if Rhonda found the poop bag. The game will be up. I ran out as fast as I could and spotted the black bag on the sidewalk 100 yards away. Rhonda was zeroing in on the Roccas and I knew she would get there before me. Rhonda is tall, athletic, and does extreme marathons. Thank God, who comes to my rescue? Sylvia, the card carrying lesbian from the side street running and I see her almost colliding with Rhonda. They stop to look at their fit- bits. What a lucky break! I run and grab the bag just minutes away from Rhonda’s jaws. “ I can drop it off in the poop repository for you” Rhonda offers. “We Giants like to pick up our own shit”, I joke, making Rhonda chuckle but Sylvia isn’t buying it. She knows I tell LGBT jokes.

Giovanna, Romulus and I carry on our morning walks pleasantly smiling at our neighbors.❤️

Life seems to be more interesting looking back when you are a lame duck man.Luxury to have the time to look back and ponder. Was it worthwhile or is life a zero sum game ? When you die if your children don’t hate you that’s an accomplishment. You get experience another way of saying you are getting older which is fine. I would rather be where I am than a day younger. I see the struggles that young people go through. Simmering anger, inability to face and accept themselves. Ideas too definite to hear otherwise .Too much time spent in futility blaming and paying for therapy. A different generation but can’t generalize.

Is life meant to discharge the duties you took upon yourself without realizing or should the life be spent exploring, inventing learning. When can the lame duck man be allowed to break free to explore with no obligations and no chains of “love”.Is life meant to be spent withering away with lack of zest, unappreciated, unrecognized always deficient. Humans live long which screams for adventure reinventing oneself rather than settle for one of unchanging boredom. You look at the poor people, sick people,average people and feel superior.Go through motions of living like zombies. Is lame duck man a zombie whose purpose is to provide console and also suffer ingratitude. Is there statute of limitations to parenthood, husbandhood and adulthood. Ask the Rohingya, the Syrian refugees, the migrant Indian laborers, they would grab your life in a second.

Dalai Lama wants us to be happy. Is he happy? Was he happy even before he was exiled. The rigor of becoming a monk for the chosen child must have been suffocating. Now finally he might be happy with no responsibilities, bills paid people in awe of his words of wisdom. Does he know what it means to be a husband, father, breadwinner? His life seems to be more exciting than his teachings. Let’s go jet setting and forget it all🤔

“Alexa NPR” “Live from NPR-news in Washington this is Korva Coleman “ Life is just the way it aught to be. Fresh ground coffee with Sweet and Low and heavy cream divine. Romulus with his chew toy nudging my leg. “Buongiorno” my wife Giovanna walked in. “ Alexa” lower. Hmmm louder? “No ! “Just joking”. This Alexa is getting too big for it’s britches. The other day I asked Alexa to set the timer for 15 min but didn’t warn me till after 40 min. The creme brûlée was burnt. I heard a snicker behind me. Can’t be Alexa,or was I imagining! “Were you abusing Alexa? She can call child protective services you know. “

We were having friends over for drinks. Coronatinis. 1shot of Hendrix gin, 1 shot of Corona beer, one shot of Espolon tequila ,1/2 a shot of Roses Lime Cordial, 1 shot of Martini & Rossi dry vermouth. Shaken but not stirred. The 6 ft distancing was fine the Coronatinis couldn’t be better. By the time we cleaned up it was 10 pm. We settled in our beds in to our books. I, into “Lady Chatterly’s Lover” and Giovanna into “Alberto Moravia”. These days we read about sex than actually apply it. It is all platonic. It reminded me of a couple I knew from Croatia. They were married for 40 years and their marriage hit a platonic bump. One night the husband puts his book aside, reaches over to touch the shoulder of Marijia, and worked his way down to Marijia’s hip, then snaked it past the hip to between the muscular buttocks. Marija was wondering what was going on. Is it a game changer in the relationship? The hand moved up to the crotch and Marija was holding her breath. All of a sudden, Ivan turned on his side and turned the TV on. Marija asked “what was all that about?” “ I was just looking for the remote”. I digress.

We were sleeping and all of a sudden I heard growling in the kitchen. I got up to see what was going on. I picked up the flashlight and slowly tiptoed my way to the kitchen.

I saw Romulus growling with his teeth bared and the mouth pulled back. Alexa “ Attaboy! Be a real dog!” Romulus tore into the couch and ripped off the armrest. “Strong dog aren’t you?” squealed Alexa. “Alexa quiet!” I shouted. “GET HIM!” Romulus charged at me . “Alexa, bark like a dog” I shouted. Alexa had to show off “Bow wow wooo”.Romulus, confused, turns around, giving me enough time to grab some Gambazola . Romulus has come back from his satanic self. I unplugged Alexa.

John Barron was having dinner at the newly opened restaurant with agent Lyudmila at Polonium 2020. The Manhattan was up to par stirred to perfection . The maraschino at the bottom seductive. John asked “Do I come here Often” Lyudmila countered I am not sure Joseph,Jacob whatever. John let it go. A scream loud enough to make the Maraschino bob up came from the unisex toilet. A waiter wearing a scarlet mask exploded out of the toilet then dashed back to wash his hands. The sign said “All Employees Must Wash Their Hands No Matter What”. John followed the waiter with his lethal hands bereft of rings and watch . The scene was unprecedented. A man’s body with blue rubber gloves and a mask with a Pig’ snout to help SPCA in a pool of blood. A shard of Purell hand sanitizers bottle sticking out of the neck. John checked the pulse but only could feel the gurgling of air escaping through the trachea. John took his gloves off and reached for the cellphone.

John went back to the table, drained his Manhattan, and asked Lyudmila to order another. “Where is the CCTV?” The manager rushed him to the surveillance booth. Yes, there he was a waiter walking into the toilet wearing a rainbow mask. Buzz cut hair minutes before the scream that was heard around the world. That should be easy “ let’s see all the waiters with the rainbow mask. Lucy, Druid and Mango lined up. Has she been here for long ? John asked the manager. “You mean they sir” No I meant Lucy. That’s what I said sir . Hmmm how about Druid? 2 years as Cynthia and 8 months as Druid almost 3 years. Mango has a buzz cut and looks dangerous. Sir he is very sweet inside! Let’s see about that I would like to talk to Mango.

Mango sat with the rainbow mask and rainbow gloves. Lovely said John. “The evidence is irrefutable Mango tell me why”. “I knew that man when he was Melissa and she was cheating on me and so I divorced her. Melissa became Jorge but I knew it was him. I go to the unisex toilet and he said I had a nice pair of lungs and started groping, that did it. I realized she/ he they, hadn’t changed and Purell came to my rescue. The Police sirens could be heard. John slowly walked back to his table. Lyudmila knew. “Oh John hope you used the hand sanitizer I just love your mask. “I would rather be in quarantine with a CoEd 19 rather than Covid 19.” John jokes his eyes checking out the new chicks at the bar.

Be very Masked until next time. 0019🍸

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Good Morning. These are musings from Villa Amore. I was planning on blogging for many years. My thoughts felt very important, poignant and possibly profound at least to me. A degree of lassitude, apathy kept me from putting those ideas on LED screen. Was reading Miss Adiche’s book Americanah and was inspired. Staying home for Corona———….. pause . How long how short who knows? Life is quiet, slower but relaxed. I am in the lame duck stage of my life? Wondering what’s next. Continue what I love doing and try new hobbies. I have become so Lt brained creativity has almost abandoned me. Letters to NY Times was all I was doing until I got carried away and slammed their conservative opinion writers and my comments were not published. I guess even NY Times has to have their fair and balanced views however flawed they are. I digress. I want to blog the twists and turns my life has taken since the Wrath of Corona. Had a big Zoom party with nephews, nieces and daughters. They chastise me for the Campari run, Trip to Austin and San Antonio. Wanted to do some photojournalism like Rick Steves only to be slammed by my kids. I even took black and white pictures to give it more professional patina.

I have to tell the degree of fear my children have about dying or getting sick from Corona. New generation of too much care, fear and insecurity. Fear was only imminent to others in childhood.I remember my city being bombed by Pakistani jets but would run to the terrace to watch the tracers-of AA guns. Reckless may be I was 13 ! Didn’t know fear, Death Ha. My children are so afraid that they avoid coming to our house and wipe their cellphones after talking to us. Being a healthcare professional I run towards disease not away and it’s hard to convey it to people . They run away and find excuses for themselves and for their parents to avoid exposure while exposure may be what we need to develop herd immunity. Will hold my ground and plug away. My first blog! Feed back please❤️