Giovanna and I take our duties seriously. Walking Romulus is a job we judge our commitment to our beliefs by. To Romulus, life centers around the morning walk. He has to strut his stuff, preen and look regal. He has a wide stance when he walks because of his above average testicles. My daughter is preoccupied with fixing him but we object since no benefits are proven to come out of that according to the vet. It’s like her boyfriend obsessed with the benefits of circumcision with no proven benefits. We go all crazy about female genital mutilation but how about young boys going through circumcision and becoming total conservatives lacking sensitivity in critical areas. Romulus is gentle by nature but gets rattled when dogs bark or snap at him. The chihuahuas confuse him with their supercilious snapping completely deserving of being crushed between the jaws. Romulus knows that he aught to let him have it but then he has better things to do,well let the little shit bark, no harm done.

Walking our dogs is done on the promenade deck. Beautiful ladies and their well groomed dogs. Only a few guys. I get hellos and smiles when we pass most of the time and I know for sure the beauties who don’t acknowledge my hellos are definitely with LGBTQ inclinations. Giovanna says that my hello is a lesbian tester! There is no ordinance that we pick up after our dogs in our enclave but it’s done implicitly. The doggy pick up bags sticking out of the pockets is a badge of honor. Me and Giovanna are a different ilk. Picking up the warm squishy dog stuff is not for us but we could be ostracized, our house spray painted “dog poopers”. A great idea came to me.

“How about we carry pine cones in a dog poop bag and carry it daily ?” Giovanna has an even better idea, “how about carrying Rocca chocolates which are heavy in the bag and reach in for one and pop it into the mouth”. That will freak out passers by.

I remember the day we had an emergency! I was juggling the Rocca chocolates in the poop bag ,the water bowl for Romulus and the empty coffee mug and realized that I dropped the poop bag somewhere when I reached home. Panic! What if Rhonda found the poop bag. The game will be up. I ran out as fast as I could and spotted the black bag on the sidewalk 100 yards away. Rhonda was zeroing in on the Roccas and I knew she would get there before me. Rhonda is tall, athletic, and does extreme marathons. Thank God, who comes to my rescue? Sylvia, the card carrying lesbian from the side street running and I see her almost colliding with Rhonda. They stop to look at their fit- bits. What a lucky break! I run and grab the bag just minutes away from Rhonda’s jaws. “ I can drop it off in the poop repository for you” Rhonda offers. “We Giants like to pick up our own shit”, I joke, making Rhonda chuckle but Sylvia isn’t buying it. She knows I tell LGBT jokes.

Giovanna, Romulus and I carry on our morning walks pleasantly smiling at our neighbors.❤️